Dear travellers of rough waters You are warmly invited to join in this 3 YEARS PROGRAMME for the reGENERATION of our SOULS VOYAGE: a SCHOOL and SANCTUARY for the SOUL TWO RIVERS rivering through the 3 years programme Sept 2024 to Dec 2026 - Registrations are open until June - limited to 25 students ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TWO RIVERS rivering through the 3 years programme 1 - FEEDING and LEARNING of the LANGUAGE of SOUL Altar making - wild offerings - sacred postactivism - unlearning practices - feeding the soul - Grief Composting - fierce love - soul activism - intuitive writing - die the small deaths - welcome the rebirths - eARTh ART making beauty... 2 - BECOMING a DOULA for the birthing of ELDERS guided by a cohort of teachers and by my twin books: 9 passAGES to Die Alive and PathoSophy: A Living Art- Wisdom born of Grief and Suffering ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next Q&A session with Azul Thome the creative visionary behind it is this Tuesday 9th April 5pm EET (Eastern European Time) for 90 minutes max. CHECK YOUR TIMEZONE I am so moved to now be ready to present to you the hive of 2024 and part of 2025 after much dreaming, spinning and weaving through the winter and early spring. While the world is falling onto itself, Soul is like a great underground River of deep imagination. We will voyage to and with Her in much praise and offerings. I PRESENT TO YOU THE ENSOULING CREW that will guide, challenge, inspire, feed, teach, share and accompany you on the VOYAGE! They come to you with their Water Body and a Sentient Being. The cohort is not only human. That was also a long time longing, to see teachers and guides with their wider family of entanglement… Here they are! With profound gratitude for their souls and medicine. FOR MORE INFORMATIONS
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"The human soul is hungry for beauty… When we experience the Beautiful, there is a sense of homecoming".
| This morning I would like to write about the toxic spell I am under with COVID19, the proposed journey from pathology to pathosophy through the sacred work of grief composting and the vital feeding of Soul. What happens if we move from allopathy to allosophy? What is the root of the collective terror and disorientation we feel? Can the disappearance of our nomadic freedom be the awakening call for loving more furiously and for radical generous cœurage? I am writing so when I forget again and fall under the strong spell cast on us, I can at least return to it. May it be so, inshallah and inshgaia! I have no answers. I am sharing my experience of the last 2 months when I was not sure I would come back from madness and illness. The last 9 months has seen me feeling dis-eased, very disorientated with a brain unable to do simple tasks I have been experiencing deep physical and psychic pain while feeling uncontrollable raw emotions. I am deeply exhausted with cough and breathlessness. The above list holds the perfect materials for an alchemist and a medicine person to be born and/or practice. The above list also holds dangerous materials and definitions for a corrupted system to use to control us and put on under a spell...the spell of terror, blind obedience and of course increase isolation from all that matters... DEPRESSION in OUR SYSTEM unable to grieve I took a risk to seek support from the allopathic system of my gp practice 2 months ago. I was immediately put on antidepressant, painkillers and valium. I took it all and walked again on that path of medicated pathology. I had to find something I had lost the last time I was there. So I put the pills on my altar and prayed for a safe return. After a few days of swallowing the pills I gradually stopped crying, the pains in my body dulled and a feeling resembling a voiceless stupor wrapped over me. I became controllable again, pacified and numbed. WILD GRIEF, MOVEMENT and FOREST After a few weeks I stopped it all and allowed myself to feel what i had parked for the experiment. First my immense grief, sorrow and rage moved again. I allowed my body to move and paint, stitch and embroidered through the many stages of pain and I relearned to lay on the forest skin while breathing with the trees, my kins. I needed to leave the home of Soul to return to it with some refreshed clarity. I am unsure if it is wise to use myself as the raw material but sometimes we are required to be the laboratory, the alchemist, the temple, the dangerous path, the prima materia and the patient all at once. PATHOLOGY and PATHOSOPHY Being conditioned to pathologies, our experiences of pain, strong feelings and suffering all our life we seem to look for something to fit these symptoms into. ME, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, depression, psychosis, bipolar, autism, manic, etc... When tired and alone we just want to rest there, for a moment, for a sense of veneered belonging, a home, however dysfunctional it is. I noticed that when I think of dying it gives me the same feeling of rest and belonging!!!? That makes me suspicious, it awakes in me to the possibility that something dangerously unfriendly is going on in our world right now. A world that makes us want to rest and belong in the arms of the system that harms and controls us... Are we part of a human system that would rather see us dying than living? Looking at the evidence, it is probably the case. After all our healing system is all about illness, not about well being, kindness or the thriving of life. People who are truly alive are dangerous! Perhaps because they are fearless, interconnected to the web of life and compassionate... These pathologies were named and defined by whom and for whom? Why have we accepted them with such docility? Same question can be transferred onto every part of our society, politics, laws, truths, all over the world ... These pathologies become prison cells, they take away our freedom, stifle our imagination and crash our dignity. They enable medication to be passed on without proper check about its true effect. Power is never shared with the sick and the suffering one. Our return to the web of life, to our wild grief, to our songs, dance, art, poetry, old stories and empowering myths are never part of the prescription. We are never asked about our relationship to our visible and invisible allies and to our well and wise ancestors. All of these threads are never spun by doctors and patients.. They are bellitelated, shamed and laughed at most often. They are flipanteley and dangerously named as irrelevant matters and discarded. If you have ever been in a psychiatric hospital you will know what I mean. Hospitals are the same. We love you nurses and some docs. It is the system and the anesthesia I am addressing here. OTHER WAYS I am reminded of a few of my mentors. Francis Weller about depression: " depression is a plea from the soul to stop all you are doing and go down on your knees to feel your grief" Martin Prechtel who said to a director of a psychiatric hospital: "Aha this is where you keep your shamans!" and of Malidoma Somé : What a real shaman sees at a mental institution So if we look at the spell of ALLOPATHY: "treatment of disease by remedies that produce effects opposite to the symptoms," The definition says it all. How can I break the strong spell of allopathy . I call on Sophia, I call on Allosophy: "wisdom born of the other" "Allo" means 'other..."Al": means 'beyond'... Where is 'Pathosophy' in this? where is "the wisdom born of suffering, of feeling" Where does she reside? Why is the breath of freedom and respect that come from the enquiry not encouraged by our medical system? I let you guess. SOPHIA Sophia is the feminine aspect of divine wisdom. You can see that She is not what the people in power will want to foster in the people they are meant to serve and protect. Recently I have been offered another emerging pathology : "long covid or post covid, or covid syndrome". In the uk the medical system is setting up a series of test at the end of November to identify us and create a new illness. The illness will lead to new medications . I rested there for a few days, in the seat of being part of the reffered one for the new experience. My ego and love of pioneer adventures got confused. I even felt relief again to belong to some study of suffering even if unknown. To fall into the void, to fall into the unknown frightens me, so I grab prematurely onto some offered solutions, like a shocked amnesiac, anaesthetised zombie. I realised this morning that I had given up the fight for beauty. That by being offered a comfortable and easy solution my whole being was weakening even more, divatilasing. By being offered a pathology woven in the terror of Covid19, added to the growing control of our lives, the world wide authoritarianism and a mad making system I became even more unwell. I was under a spell. I am under a spell. And the forgetting keeps happening, the falling asleep - again and again. It took me to look into the eyes of a painting I made in the forest to wake up to my strength again. That tree is becoming my temple. |
“I had drunk so deeply of grief and innocently gambled so hard with fate and irony that a special kind of vision was gathering in my eyes, not entirely clear just yet. This was the same look people saw in your eyes when you have died for beauty and come to live accepting nature as life with no promise of paradise, and mad at people who couldn't see that.”
― Martin Prechtel,
And words from Khalil Gibran on
PAIN
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break,
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
Much of your pain is self-chosen
.It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings,
though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter
has moistened with His own sacred tears.”―
Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
The Message of Water was given to Azul Thomé on 2nd December 2016 by the River Dart, Devon, UK after she fell on her knees asking the river how to love when there is so much loss? | "I was deeply touched by this message and felt the water call me to translate her words into the spirit of a song, that Mother Water could speak through music to our hearts and call us home... |
Grief is a wild lady who asks much of us, in exchange she might guide us to a place a deep belonging, to the eye of the hurricanes.
From a point of SEPARATION,
we come through a GATE OF GRIEF,
into a space of INITIATION of maturing practices
to come back through our GRATITUDE to our natural state of BELONGING.
Soul whispered to me of "pathosophy" (the wisdom of suffering) since being a child.
It will be through our willingness to be tempered, to walk with a broken heart, to compost collectively our immense grief and the courage to make amend, restore and regenerate the soil & soul of our beautiful home that we may know what it is to be a true human being. Whether we like it or not we are being initiated and 'passaged' into the next phase of being humans here on Earth. Like many of you I was diagnosed, pathologised, institutionalised and medicalised due to behaving 'oddly' and attempting suicide a few times. | Since being a child I have been wondering how to transform suffering into wisdom, into a gift for Life. As a Soul Activist ~ my whole life is now radically (rooted) in service to the sacredness of all Life. That clarity of purpose is a great ally. To be a Give Away for the thriving of all life, as all other species do, is a sort of homecoming in a world filled with homeless orphans lost between being alive and dead. Whether we like it or not we are being initiated and 'passaged' into the next phase of being humans here on Earth. All rites of passage can become a sacred initiation or it can stay a rough unprepared, unaccompanied and unwelcome initiation. It is up to us and to our capacity to create the world of our longing, the world of Soul, the world of the Soul of our Earth. Soul will always take us to the next edge of maturation and Homecoming. Our separation with all that Matters, with all that is made of matter is making life so very ill. It will be through our willingness to be tempered, to walk with a broken heart, to compost collectively our immense grief and the courage to make amend, restore and regenerate the soil & soul of our beautiful home that we may know what it is to be a true human being. |
Life is challenge. Life works us ~ as would a blacksmith who take a piece of steel to shape it gladly through fire, water and pressure ~ instructed by the movement of Soul.
SInce I was conceived suffering was breathing her sulfurique breath down my neck
Life tempered me through great and regular sufferings from birth propelling me to a multitude of foster care 'homes', through being a war child in Beirut then a refugee in France, to then being regularly and brutally violated until early adulthood by two adults who were perhaps to traumatised to mature.
What a fierce and fine training for where we are as a species.
Soul called me to her bosom when i had given up on humans relations including my own possible humanity. I created havoc bringing much suffering to my immediate surrounding. The claws of our colonising culture grabbed me ruthlessly.
Like many of you I was diagnosed, pathologised, institutionalised and medicalised due to behaving 'oddly' and attempting suicide a few times.
Each Death visited event happened at the crucial stages where my Soul called for a rite of Passage, when my psyche was ripening for an initiation into the next ecosophical manifestation of what being a true human means.
Our society does not want true initiated subversive and mature humans
Soul saw through the thick spell of pathologies (the science of suffering) and spoke to me through the seasons of the wild lands, earth rooted art and the sacred ways of the marginals and outcasts.
Soul whispered to me of "pathosophy" (the wisdom of suffering) since being a child.
I "knew" somehow that all this suffering will eventually be of use to others and to Life.
Earth told me and deeply dreamt me through earth~based ceremonies, deep rituals, renegotiating ancestral contracts and mending what was broken through Making the world of my Longing.
Each longing being a thread of Soul's wild imagination for a balanced way of Life.
She, Soul, speaks through you as well, through your deepest longings. I would say dare your life to give that longing to the thriving of Life. What else is there to do?
So i propose that there is a deep wisdom belonging to our earth that knows when our soul needs an initiation ~ that time requires a death of one state of being to transmute into the more mature state so we can serve life fully ~ all in response to the community we live in of humans and non humans.
Most of us have not been ‘passaged’ , have not been guided by the initiated Elders nor the mycelium of deep connection with all our relatives, them beings trees, animals, fungies, the living and the dead, the visible and the no-thing.
I propose that ~ Our earth’s wisdom and care weave her psyche within ours through Pathosophy.
'SOUL Activism is when Maturing as a Species becomes a Graceful and Rebellious act!'
We sit in Council of all Beings, we Tend to the Children of all Species, we Initiate our Young ones, we claim our Elders, we Ancestralise our Dead and we recreate Community as a service to all of Life. Our Declaration is : "no laws and no decisions shall pass that in any way could harm the children of all species" FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE DURING THE EXTINCTION REBELLION INTERNATIONAL ACTIONS IN LONDON 7th to 20th Oct 2019 | Earth Wisdom Tenders We are called the ‘Earth Wisdom Tenders’and are an eclectic group of people who are learning to deeply listen to the earth and the non human world, to honour their wisdom and knowledge, and to hear what they need from us right now at this time of crisis and extinction. We are guided by the wisdom of the past and indigenous cultures and peoples of the present, we work with the cycles and rhythm of the earth, the planets and cosmos and with what we perceive as the great mystery. Many of us feel grief and great poverty that we have lost these missing practices that were and are woven in intimacy with our living world. In the past we may have been labelled as pagans, druids, witches or hippies. This longing to find a place of belonging and healing has created a re-emergence and a rewriting of these ancient ways, through ceremonies, rituals, initiation and rites of passage, to enable our deep soul connection and wisdom to reawaken. We sit in Council of all Beings, we Tend to the Children of all Species, we Initiate our Young ones, we claim our Elders, we Ancestralise our Dead and we recreate Community as a service to all of Life. We are called the Earth Wisdom Tenders : Tending to all Life on Earth in our troubled time "We are Earth Wisdom Tenders... When all sentient beings are our sisters and brothers When we remember that we belong to the living web of Life When no laws and no decisions shall pass that in any way could harm the children of all species When we know that our Earth talks through us of her deep knowledge and wisdom We are Earth Wisdom Tenders when no land, no waters and no one is owned, colonised nor commercialised for power and control. Our dear Earth is 4.5 billions years of age, she is our Wise Elder whom we learn from and tend to”. With Love and Cœurage Earth Wisdom Tenders |
"Oh Liberty, hear us, and speak in behalf of but one individual, for a great fire is started with a small spark. Oh Liberty, awaken but one heart with the rustling of thy wings, for from one cloud alone comes the lightning which illuminates the pits of the valleys and the tops of the mountains. Disperse with thy power these black clouds and descend like thunder and destroy the thrones that were built upon the bones and skulls of our ancestors."
— Kahlil Gibran
All Welcome | These Bones represents all our Ancestors who have not been Honoured ~ of all Species. These Bones represent our Mother Earth Stones Everyone longs and deserves an honorable ancestralising It is our Duty of Care to tend to our dead We will Gather the Bones, sooth them with pigments, red ochre and oil, we will create an altar on site and let the tide take our prayers. It will be temporary Altar for the Ancestors of All Species to be tended to, blessed and loved with courage. We will seek the support and healing from the Well and Wise Ancestors to gather and bless the living to thrive during the Actions and beyond BRING: Drum Rattle Pigments and oils Songs |
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. Edgar Allan Poe
| SOULand Schedule at Woman Fest 2019 THURSDAY 8th 11AM TO 11PM ~ INNER COUNCIL OF A WOMAN QUEEN ~ 20 WOMEN 4PM TO 6PM~~ BLACK TENT FOR MENOPAUSAL WOMEN ~ 20 WOMEN FRIDAY 9th 11AM TO 1PM ~ WILD GRIEF AND FIERCE LOVE IN TIMES OF EXTINCTION ~ 20 WOMEN 8PM ~ AZUL WITH JEWELS ~ GRIEF CEREMONY SATURDAY 10th 3AM TO 5:30AM ~ DREAM CIRCLE, GRIEF COMPOSITNG CIRCLE AND NEW DAWN~ 20 WOMEN 4PM TO 6PM ~ WOMAN INITIATION ~ THE 4 SISTERS: GRIEF-LOVE-DEATH-REBRITH ~ 20 WOMEN SUNDAY 11th 11AM TO 1PM ~ WEAVING WOMEN BACK INTO MATTER ~ 20 WOMEN To get in touch with Azul to offer your gift into the Black Tent: [email protected] |
"SOULand is a response to our uninitiated, traumatised, collapsing and transforming world. "Initiation is a invitation to wildly court and lean into the SOUL of four Sisters - Grief, Love, Death and Birth. There is no true initiation without the ‘small’ death of our personality, our set positioning in life or our childlike naivety. The Message of Water | SOULand: Making the World of our Longing... Longing is the language of SOUL. A current moving through us, whispering wildly to us how to come back Home to Anima Mundi ~ The Soul of the World. What does longing have to do with an Apprenticeship to Soul and Grief? . Most of us behave as if we were homeless to our SOUL and orphaned to our Earth with great consequences. When we feel deep longings moving through our bodies and through our dreams we are blessed by SOUL. So what happens to these Longings? Why are we in such dire state if SOUL constantly speaks through our imagination, hearts and dreams? Are they like seeds falling on concrete? What does our SOUL need? These longings moving through us... could be bringing us to one of the initiatory gates of grief. Grief of not being welcome, wanted, enough, or of not knowing enough, have enough support, money, skills etc...Paralysis, shame and envy can become the new guests in our beings. Grief is a gate that most of us want to avoid at all costs, even if it costs us our lives ~ therefore we never move beyond the call of SOUL. An initiation to empower us to create the world of our longing is miscarried. We stop, numb and stay small not to feel our sadness, our numbness, our fears and anger. We are not skilled in Grief neither in Love. A terrible poverty takes place in our heart and imagination. SOULand provides collective spaces for the release of our sacred grief, so we can meet ourselves as creative gifted human beings ~ a little more empowered and resourced to make the World of our Longing as a great gift... ~~~ Grief Composting Circles The Grief Compositing Circles are communal rituals of 4 hours infused with beauty and connection with all beings, humans and all others. Grief in this context is the welcoming of anger, fear, sadness, despair, numbness and the mystery of all these emotions as we welcome them in a collective safe space. The Circles hold an important part in total darkness as if in a compost heap, a womb or a kiva. Sounds and wailing are freely used to encourage our wild and sensuous selves to be present. Wild means of the sensuous land and waters, not feral or out of control! The circles weave also the work of Francis Weller ~ Joanna Macy ~ Sobonfu Some ~ Steven Jenkinson and Martin Pretchel among others. ~~~ Conversations with Grief and Water Conversations with Grief of Water is a series of interviews with women and men engaged fully with our collapsing world, our dying systems and our grief. People engaged with deep love and longing to fully participate in our world in ways of soul and beauty. They respond to the message of Water received on 2nd of December. So far I have spoken with and recorded Joanna Macy, Simon Be, Li An Phoa, Jon Young, Francis Weller, Manda Scott, Pat McCabe, Megan Hollingsworth, Stephan Harding, Pablo Servigne and Stephen Jenkinson... each one bringing a thread for a cloth weaving in the past, present and future... I anticipate mystery and our bone memory to be awakened by it. |
"Thank you SOULand for turning your gentle light onto long forgotten place and spaces which were desolate and ghost like within me. " Apprentice
"The strong, robust and respectful container you wove created a space for me to express my grief in all its wild forms. I love that.
The emphasis on personal responsibility and sovereignty is a welcome addition to allow me to find my own way." Apprentice
Women all over our Earth are gathering and rising from the ashes of genocides, slavery and betrayal. There is a new tide and all of life is at stake! Time to mature and offer our gifts fully with the support and blessing of our Sisterhood! Women...
The sisterhood is gathering... | When I was kindly invited to the first WomanFest near Frome, Uk last year, I had no sense of what I was going to. I just could not say no! Something in its calling courted me. All was in place for the Grief Composting Circle and WomBelt to be offered to this extraordinary and timeless gathering! My luggage were mostly filled with yarn and my heart growing with trepidation to arrive on the edges of what we know where life thrives! I was not sure why I went all the way from Slovenia to Frome...until I got there. I soon found a tree, tied myself to her and wove a WomBelt ...for three days. I invited many Women to write on a tiny scroll the World of their deepest Longing. Each piece of fabric was carefully rolled up and inserted in the 4 meters WomBelt. Many tears and heart sharing were witnessed by that sweet tree, delighted she was to see us women so raw and real. The belt was then offered to Tiana Jacoult who held the original vision of WomanFest. We know what it costs to hold Visions to better our world. We need support from all willing. Three of us wrapped the belt around her womb and hips to bless, protect, guide and praise all of her future actions in service to our world's well being and sanity. Women all over our Earth are gathering and rising from the ashes of genocides, slavery and betrayal. There is a new tide and all of life is at stake! Time to mature and offer our gifts fully with the support and blessings of our sisterhood! SOULand will be present at WomanFest this year in a Black Tent created especially by the Blissfull Belltent . We will be in the woods at the radically participatory WomanFest 2019 this Aug. We will be there for the Maturing of Women's Soul offering tasters of the full programme of SOULand. ~ Inner Council of a woman Queen ~ ~ Black Tent Council for menopausal women ~ ~ WomBelt: Weaving Women Back into Matter ~ Returning to Earth what has been Stolen ~ ~ Grief Composting apprenticeship ~ ~ Soul ripening emergent rituals ~ ~ Earth Temple ~ ~ eARTh: Art Infused with Ritual... for Earth! All this to prepare and ripen each woman to offer her praise to Life, her Genius and her Innate Gifts to our dear Mother Earth in our incredibly enlivening, troubling & transmuting times... Azul-Valerie Thome SOULand: Making the World of our Longing www.souland.org |
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