I woke up this morning in a gob of phlegm.
In appearance, a disappointed beast had spat me out of its furious maw!, This event had happened before... Spared again...for this day... of this life. Gifted with hours of terror, navigating the committed collective amnesia of our cities and hills, of the lunatic outcasts, the wary maze of family constellation, 7 generations in all 7 directions, spherically en-globing this weird and wonderful organism that I was trained to call 'me' or 'you'. I get dressed. not to shock but to stay in with some identification. I speak with unloved words, each one lacking of intimacy, no time, alert to any danger of joining the feared brothers and sisters on wet cardboard boxes living near banks and supermarkets flattened by the weight of abandonment and cold, white, gagged sufferings. We best become blind...
I will just put my smile on if appropriate, or shall I put my deep and perplexed look on? Oh no I know. I will be in grief today it is fashionable in some of 'my' circles...or shall I be all of these in a spiral of maddening belonging tactics....It is 10am feeling exhausted already...12 more hours to go....before I lay down and go back into the maw of the beast to a rest...less somnambul existence between worlds .
So much of my unremitting ruthless running is to 'heroically' avoid being found out and swallowed by the tyranny of youth, of Botox, of owning anything new. The new Iphone can tell you how you feel did you know? Our money systems are directed by robots created by intelligent people. Our scattered souls are endlessly bumping into one an other in a 'disjuncted' dance with their forgotten cracking parts...
If crazy meaning 'Full of Cracks' then let me belong to the crazy ones as well as the exiled ones... where the cracks can and might stand up to their true destiny of showing some of the sacred beauty residing there, shining their passionate chants in a twirl of silk and roses.
I am crazy, what a relief!
On the 15th-16th Oct event I will present a new vision SOULand . One of a possible Hospital, School and Programme for our SOUL: SOULand. Join me if you can!
River of Words and Images by Azul Thomé: